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But, from all that I have heard this is an
exceptional case."

"I think so, too," said the other ghost, "and now you know as much about
that as we do. We are but the bones and a few ligaments, and we are
waiting until such time as may suit the Master to give us release, and
move us to whatever sphere of existence He may choose."

At this moment a ghost stepped up and said in a brisk way, as though he
belonged to a newer and more active age: "Gentlemen," here he bowed to
the newspaper man, and then right and left, "what these gentlemen have
said is quite true, as my own experience will show, and if this gentleman
wishes I will tell my own story." The young man bowed and said that he
certainly should like to hear it, so the ghost said:

"That we can come out of our mouldering bodies and hover unseen about
our own homes is so. About six months after I was dead I was seized with
the most intense longing to go to my house. I have been dead but a
comparatively short time. I had been married but about two years and
naturally hated to leave my young wife. But-well-we are not always free
agents in these cases and must die when our time comes. I was run over
by a cable car," he added as he saw that all near by seemed to be
interested, and particularly the young man. "I was killed soon after the
Spanish war broke out. I did not want to go as a volunteer and risk
being shot and killed. I had a good business all my own and a nice little
home all paid for, and I had every reason to wish to live. My wife
thought I ought to leave all that and strike for glory. I tried to make
her see that glory does not go to the unit, but to the officers in
command, but it was no use, she kept it up. I could not go anywhere
without hearing bands of music and seeing soldiers, and at last it
annoyed me so that I would take any chance to avoid it. And, that is
just how I came to be killed. I started to cross a street when one car
was coming up and another going down, I never did know just how it
happened, but the wheels went over my neck. You may notice how loose it
is."

"What did you do? How did you feel? When did you know that you were dead?
Or did you know nothing until they got you out?" began the reporter
breathlessly, for somehow this accident appealed to him in an unusually
strong way.

"I knew as soon as I was out of my body. I watched them lift the car with
jacks to get me out. I felt so mad that anger swallowed up every other
sensation to think I had let myself be killed in this senseless way. But
it was no use. I followed along and was in the house ahead of my body,
and found Mary sitting there surrounded with half a dozen scarehead
newspapers around her reading about the war. They brought my body in, and
you never saw such heartrending grief. I felt sorry for her, but I could
do nothing. She sobbed and moaned and screamed with hysterics, and it
took four persons to hold her. Of course it was a shock, I admit that,
but it need not have made her such an idiot."

"I think her grief quite natural," said the reporter.

"Of course, of course. But wait till I tell you the rest. They sent for
an undertaker, one of the swell ones. Common funerals are out of date
now, or you would have thought so had you heard him talk. Honey from
Hymettus was not sweeter than his sympathy, and oil from the olive groves
of Italy was not so smooth as his tongue. He was so gentle and suggestive
in his consolatory words that before the poor girl understood she had
given him carte blanche to have a funeral such as should show the proper
amount of respect for the dead and her uncontrollable grief. Oh, yes;
everything must be such as would pour balm into that broken heart. She
had never wanted anything during my life, and she knew absolutely nothing
about business, so that glib fellow just turned her around his finger.
The funeral must be in church. That meant the music and preacher to pay
besides all the other things. There must be palms all down the aisle,
and floral pieces. I must be embalmed. Well-I hope he may be obliged to
float helplessly around and see some other fellow embalm him. And I hope
it may be a business rival! My coffin was the finest, copper-lined, with
silver handles and plate-glass top. And she agreed to it all without
asking the price. She did not know enough.

"Well, I suppose I ought to feel flattered about it, but I don't. No,
sir! And then the grave. The highest priced lot was chosen by that wily
undertaker, and the grave dug. An awning was stretched over it, and all
the earth that came out was sifted so that it should fall lightly without
that sickening thud that we hear when the clods strike the coffin.
Folding chairs were there for the mourners, and iced vichy for those who
were thirsty. Carriages were provided for every Tom, Dick and Harry that
wanted to have a free ride. My wife was the only mourner, for we neither
had any relatives. But, my employees were there, and every comfort was
provided for them. I am telling you this to show how women are imposed
upon. Why the crape upon the door was a yard wide and twice as long. The
undertaker made his strong point always saying that nothing less would be
showing the proper respect. And my own dress suit that I hadn't worn but
three times was not good enough, and so he went and put another on and
charged her a hundred dollars extra.

"While he was doing this my wife had let her friends go to the swellest
store in the city and order her mourning. They did not have to pay for it
themselves, and it felt important to be ordering the best. Nothing short
of the finest and richest Eudora cloth was good enough for the dress, and
this had to be almost covered with the heaviest Courtauld crape, like
those worn for court mourning abroad, and among the smart set here. Her
bonnet had a little roll of white in front to show that she was a widow,
and there was veil of the crape over the bonnet that reached the feet
back and front, and was reefed up in a deep fold or hem or whatever they
call it. Then there were gloves and black bordered handkerchiefs, and dull
black jewelry, and to top off with a long sealskin coat. They told her
that was the fashionable fur, for mourning, and it was better to get a
good one while she was about it, as it would always be useful. They paid
eight hundred dollars for that!

"What is the use talking any more about it. She paid her respects to the
dead in the same kind of clothes the millionaires wear, but it took the
house and lot to pay for them, and crippled the business besides. That
undertaker soaked her for three thousand dollars, and took a mortgage on
the house and furniture to pay, and the business went to the dogs in less
than six months. I used to go up and hover around and try to infuse a
little sense into her head, but it was no use. I don't go there any
more."

This last was said with such evident dejection that the reporter asked
sympathetically why he had ceased his visits.

"Well, it is this way. One evening about six 

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