Adventure | Science Fiction | Ghost stories | Poetry | Children | History BookOpen Original Text would doubtless have been more discussion had
not the master of ceremonies rapped sharply for order, and said:
"All present are invited to take part in this convention which has been
convened for the purpose of endeavoring to right several wrongs and to
elect a master of ceremonies for next year. I think I am entitled to
some repose. In fact I could not be induced to serve another year in
this capacity."
"I wonder if anyone asked him to?" whispered one ghost to another. The
reporter looked around to see the speaker, forgetting that he would not
know anyhow. His surprise was great to observe that all the women ghosts
were seated in a gallery that he had not noticed before.
The women were talking with animation among themselves and paid scant
attention to the proceedings below. They grew so animated once or twice
talking of the fashions which women still of the world were wearing, and
telling of the clothes they used to have that they had to be called to
order twice. The master of ceremonies rapped for order, and said:
"I move that Mr. Alexander Hamilton be invited to act as chairman for
this meeting."
The bishop immediately stood up, saying angrily:
"I object! Mr. Hamilton has been chairman often enough. I move that some
one else has a chance this generation. Besides we want new blood, new
ideas."
"That lets you out, then," said a ghost down the aisle.
The bishop was too angry to answer, and sat down indignantly. Another
ghost said:
"What is the matter with the general? I see our fighting general here,
and I should like to remark that Mr. Hamilton is not the only peach upon
the bough. If the general is too modest I move that the chairman should
be some one who has suffered by the wrongs we are trying to have
righted. Mr. Hamilton is sure that he will never be removed from here,
or if he is it will be with befitting ceremonies, and he cannot be
expected to feel as do those who have been moved around until they have
no fixed abode, and in consequence are called tramp ghosts. Of course
the general will always be honored in death as he was in life, still I
think he ought to be our chairman."
All eyes, or rather, heads were turned toward a medium-sized ghost who
stood up, and it was easy to recognize the military bearing as he
replied:
"Gentlemen" (for the whole audience had applauded his name), "I am proud
to know that you like me well enough to choose me, but I am not used to
this kind of fighting. Anything else that I can do I shall be pleased to
do."
Saying this he sat down and so decided was his movement that no one
thought of asking him to reconsider.
Everybody cheered him except the women, who were vexed that they had
been obliged to go upstairs. The master of ceremonies grew desperate
and said:
"We will ask Mr. Van Der Dam to preside, with the approbation of the
company."
The company for the most part appeared satisfied, though one or two said
something about not liking to have a tramp ghost put above them. He took
his place modestly and began:
"Friends and fellow citizens; I am here before you to see if some way
cannot be devised to let the people above ground know our wrongs, and
ask them to fix it so that every cemetery shall be made enduring and
that no matter what are the demands of grasping people, these places
shall be kept inviolate, and devoted sacredly to their purpose, or, if
that cannot be done, then let us all be cremated, not only those who may
die, but also those who lie in places that may become necessary to the
living. What I mean is that when any old cemetery is to be moved, let
them cremate the bones instead of throwing them into some filthy old
cart all in a heap. We have all known what one can suffer under this
sort of treatment. It is time that it was stopped. Of what use is all
our boasted civilization if the dead are obliged to wander around
without coffins? Yes, and half of them without more than half their
bones. No one seems to care if they get mixed up and lost, or what
becomes of them. Something ought to be done. I have no more to say.
Saying that he took his seat, and all the ghosts applauded him, though
one or two exchanged opinions in whispers, saying that though what he
had said was true it wasn't practical. Another ghost had just risen to
his feet and opened his jaws-all the ghosts just wagged their jaws when
they spoke-and said Fellow-when there was a sound of a silvery bell in
the distance, yet its tones vibrated sweetly through this vast place. In
an instant all was changed. The seats were gone, and no vestige of them
remained. All the ghosts had changed too, and instead of being gay and
festive, they looked sad and downcast, and their heads were bent and
their whole air was one of intense dejection.
The young man asked one of the ghosts what the matter was, and he
replied simply "penance," and fell into line as if to go somewhere. The
heart of the intrepid reporter sank into his boots as he looked around
for the ghost who had invited him down here and failed to see him
anywhere. Finally, just as he had lost all hope he felt a light touch on
his shoulder, and turned to see who it was, and there he stood,
grinning.
"Did you think I had deserted you? Well, you need not have been alarmed,
for there is one thing ghosts don't do, however much they may have
deviated in life, and that is, they tell the truth. And I told you I
would come in time.
"We are now going outside, and you shall see how some of us have to work
to get our passports, and it may be a lesson for your future guidance.
And, yes, I have thought out how you may arrange about the rum. It will
be more to your interest to go up to the museum, and I never was one to
interfere with an appointment with a lady, so go up there by all means,
but if you can and will, why you can stop and just tuck the bottle and
tobacco and pipe under the stone where I sat when we first made each
other's acquaintance. I have heard that there are now to be obtained
waterproof matches, and if that is so I would suggest them, for think
what a disappointment it would be not to be able to light the pipe after
all! I shall think about it the whole year, and I do not know how I
could bear such a terrible disappointment."
The young man felt a glow of shame to think that he had thought more of
his own benefit than of his promise, and as he thought the good-natured
ghost said:
"My dear boy, do not worry over that. You did quite right, and if you
can help that poor princess you will be doing a meritorious action. She
may be, and probably is able to do all she asserts. I am sorry that I do
not know where there is any treasure, but I will look around and make
inquiries, and if you have time to see me at our next anniversary just
for a moment I shall be only too glad to tell you."
"I wish to see you again, not only on the next, but also all other
anniversaries, as long as it shall be possible, but I have learned too
much since I came down here to-night to ever care for money again save
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